She found out her husband had been in contact with a woman on OnlyFans when the woman unexpectedly called her. His payment hadn’t gone through, and the woman, trying to follow up, ended up looking him up online. That’s when she realized he was married. Feeling guilty, she tracked down the wife’s contact info on Facebook and reached out. It was a shocking, humiliating, and deeply hurtful discovery.
What made it worse was that this wasn’t the first issue. They had been fighting on and off for years about his pornography use. Still, she stayed. Despite the betrayal, something shifted in him after that moment. He took full ownership and started making changes. He got into counseling with a trusted mentor from their church and installed an accountability app on his phone.
When he realized he could work around the app’s filters, he didn’t stop there. He bought a new phone with restrictions he couldn’t bypass and set up content blocks on their home WiFi—blocks only she could control.
That was three years ago. Since then, he’s stayed completely away from porn. Not only that, he now leads a Bible study group and helps counsel other men who are struggling.
She never gave him an ultimatum. She remembers telling him, “If you want to fix this, you will,” and walking out. For several days, she kept her distance, trying to process her own feelings of betrayal and insecurity. And during that time, he made his choice—he took action.
Now, he often says, “If a guy isn’t actively doing things to not watch porn, then he’s watching porn.”